Why do we hold funerals?
It sounds obvious, I know, but a funeral is a way of saying goodbye to a loved one so that, as a family, you can begin to acknowledge your loss. A funeral also naturally invites the start (and is a significant part) of your grieving process; it should offer some comfort and peace to you, the bereaved, and also give you a chance to feel whatever you are feeling.
A funeral can celebrate a life well-lived and appreciate the joy that a person brought to the lives of others, even if it is a life – unfairly - cut short. Family and friends come together and acknowledge their connection to the person who has died; stories can be told, and memories can be shared. It can be a dedicated time - and space - for personal reflection in light of a loved one’s passing.
Why choose an independent funeral celebrant?
A funeral is the coming together in grief to bear witness to the life that’s lost. As a celebrant I would hope to transcend that and strive to provide support, comfort and hope. Personally, I feel - if done well - a good funeral should make the passing of a loved one (even if only fractionally) that little bit easier to bear.
I will honour, commemorate and celebrate your loved one and I will support you throughout the entire process. And if it’s what you desire, we absolutely can make the ceremony joyful. As your celebrant I will be striving to achieve everything you need from the funeral.
Planning the ceremony
We will discuss choices available to you and what might honour your loved one in the most appropriate fashion, including how, when and where. And of course, I will personalize the service – not just through language but in many other ways. What were their passions, their interests, their hobbies? Do they have a favourite sports team, a favourite piece of music etc. We can also discuss any other way YOU would like to say goodbye to the one you held dear whether that be through the lighting of candles, a balloon or lanterns release, bubbles – raising a toast, even! Anything goes when honouring the passing of an individual, because they were exactly that; their own unique person.
If a person did not follow a faith, perhaps honouring your loved one with a religious service doesn’t feel like the natural thing to do. As your celebrant we can commemorate your loved one in however way you feel is right; the service can be free of any mention of religion.
Conversely, we can weave in any religious or symbolic elements or add light touches of faith; a prayer, a blessing a hymn should you so wish. Many people today might consider themselves spiritual in some way, and lots of people feel like they believe in something but are not quite sure what. Any and all such outlooks can be honoured as well as any cultural traditions or beliefs.
Holding you close….
There is perhaps nothing more devastating than losing a baby, whether your child lived all too briefly in our world or whether they were born into your arms, sleeping, I am here to help create a fitting goodbye and to honour the unique mark your child left in this world and on your hearts. There are no words adequate; no sentiment can soften the blow when faced with the unexpected loss of a baby. It is so deeply unfair to be living this sadness when, as a parent, all you are preparing for is joy. It is therefore my honour to help shoulder your pain and support you through the entire process.
A note on the past few years…
COVID-19 has meant that many families have been unable to say farewell to their loved ones, in the manner they wished for and deserved. Restrictions have meant very limited funeral options; this loss has been great and felt by many. As restrictions have lifted, you might now wish to hold a service to honour your loved one in the way they would have wanted. It may also feel as if this is a missing piece in the grieving process for you. You could remember them by holding a celebration of life, a memorial service, an ashes interment, or a ceremony for the scattering of the ashes. Any of these options offer you the space to say goodbye to your loved one, share memories with friends and family and commemorate the person you so dearly miss.
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